


Back To December

by armadil_Lo



Series: RvB Song Challenge Meme [2]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-25
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-28 00:39:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5071210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/armadil_Lo/pseuds/armadil_Lo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Is it too late for Tucker to right his wrongs?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Back To December

**Author's Note:**

> I kind of cheated a little with this. Technically the rules are that you just put your music on shuffle, no planning, and only have as long as the song to write something.
> 
> But apparently I'm a rebel because I changed it up a little. I let myself listen to a song once and decide on a ship or pairing or situation. Then I'd spend the next time listening to the song thinking more about the lyrics and coming up with a brief outline. And finally, on the third time listening to the song, I would write. But I may have gone over the time limits of the song length. Sometimes a little. Sometimes a lot. You'll be able to tell by the length.
> 
> (Also I skipped past some songs that wouldn't have made sense or that I just didn't feel like writing to whoOPS)

Tucker is there early.

He walks into the warm cafe, tapping the sides of his legs with his fingers nervously. He makes a point not to look around as he approaches the counter. He doesn't want to seem desperate. Instead, he orders a hot chocolate, and taps the counter with his fingers as he waits. He gives a shaky smile to the woman as she hands him the drink and it is only when he turns around that he lets himself look over the booths.

Wash is staring right at him apprehensively, a half empty cup of coffee already in front of him.

Tucker takes a deep breath and walks over him, looking at the ground. He sets his drink down on the table and sits opposite the blonde, giving himself just one more second to get his shit together before he looks up. And oh god he's even more beautiful than he remembered.

"Hi David," he says softly.

"Lavernius," is the stiff response.

Tucker gives a small sigh. He knew this wouldn't be easy. "How are you?"

"Fine." There's a pause. "You?"

"Um. Yeah, I'm.. I've been..." He can't lie. He could never lie to Wash. So he evades the question, like he does with everything else. "How's work?"

"Busy." Wash seems to realise that his sharp, one-word answers are making Tucker flinch slightly, so he sits up a little straighter and tries again. "It's been busy. We have new interns to train, and a big job the entire office is taking part in."

"Really? Why's that?" Tucker taps the side of his mug with his fingers.

"A massive client chose our company for the job. It looks like it may take a few years to complete, but it'll be really important for the company's future," Wash explains with a guarded expression.

"Wow. And.. how's your family? Your parents? I haven't seen them in a while." Tucker curses internally when he realises how fucking stupid that sounds. Of course he hasn't seen them, he hadn't even seen Wash in five months and seventeen days.

Wash seems to trip over his answer a little. "They're.." Tucker recognises the barely restrained anger, the underlying hurt. He understands why it's there, especially now. But no, Tucker didn't just ask to meet up out of the blue to ask about his parents. "They're doing well."

"Good, good." The fingers keep tapping at the porcelain, making small noises. "...It's- it's getting warmer."

"Yeah, it's nearly summer," Wash replies, his tone flat. Tucker can see him withdrawing further, disappointed at where the conversation is heading. Or rather, that it is heading nowhere. And dammit, Tucker refuses to cause that man any more pain.

It used to be easy between them. It used to be effortless when they were together. They would laugh and joke and hold hands and kiss and talk. But then Tucker fucked up. Now he can't even sleep at night, and by the looks of it Wash hasn't been as 'fine' as he claimed either.

Tucker doesn't want this for them.

So he sighs. Folds his hands in his lap to stop the nervous habit of them tapping on everything. Gathers his thoughts to stop his other nervous habit of just asking meaningless questions. Swallows. And takes a deep breath.

"David. I'm sorry."

Because five months and seventeen days ago, Wash had handed Tucker a bouquet of red roses and when asked what they were for, simply said "I love you, Lavernius." Five months and seventeen days ago, Tucker dropped those flowers on the floor and ran. Five months and seventeen days ago, he sent a text to Wash with shaking hands explaining that he needed to explore, he needed freedom, he couldn't be suffocated by their relationship, he was too young, he didn't want to be tied down yet.

But the entire five months and seventeen days was spent seeing Wash in everyone, hearing Wash everywhere, being reminded of him by every little thing. Tucker had missed him with every aching part of his soul.

So Tucker apologises.

"Shit, I'm so sorry for what I did. It was the worst mistake I've ever made. It was stupid and wrong and I'd do anything to take it back now. You have no idea how much it means to me that you'd even come and see me after what I did to you. To us...

"I- I love you, David. And I know it's way too fucking late now and I fucked everything up so much and you probably hate me. But I love you. I've loved you for so long. I loved you way before that night. I was just too fucking terrified to say anything. It scared the shit out of me. I didn't want to get hurt. But then I hurt you instead." And that's when Tucker can no longer do this while looking Wash in the eye. He blinks down at the wooden table, voice choking up. "I wish I hadn't. I think about it all the time. I think about how I shouldn't have done it, how different everything would be now. I hate myself for what I did."

A drop of water splatters onto the table. Then another. And in an instant, Wash is up from his side of the booth - and for one terrifying moment Tucker thinks he is going to storm out and give him a taste of his own medicine. But then a warm body slides in beside him and comforting arms are around Tucker's shoulders as they shudder with every sob he holds back.

"I swear to god, if I had a second chance, I would treat you the way you should be treated and I would give you all the love I'm capable of giving. But.. I get it if you don't want to give me that chance. I do. I'll understand if you don't believe me. If you don't want to get back together." His voice is quieter now, weak. "I wouldn't deserve it anyway."

There's a long silence between them. Tucker sniffs and wipes away his tears with the backs of his hands, almost embarrassed to have shown such emotion. But it was genuine and it was raw and real and he still has Wash's arms around him and he really hopes that is a good sign. He leans into the touch a little, craving something he hasn't felt in so long. He breathes in the scent of the cafe of coffee beans and cinnamon, but he can also smell the fragrant soap powder Wash uses on all of his clothes and the cologne he's always worn.

Finally, Wash speaks.

"I should hate you," is what he says, tone still detached and unfeeling. It makes Tucker's skin crawl and he deflates, starting to pull away from Washington. But Wash grips his shoulders a little tighter to keep him in place and whispers, "I don't."

Tucker stares up at him in shock, right into those beautiful grey-green irises.

Emotions of all kinds flood into Wash's voice now. "I still love you. I never stopped."

Without a second of hesitation, Tucker flings his arms around Wash's neck and holds him tightly. He knows it won't be easy. He knows they'll have a long way to go before everything is okay.

But Tucker is never going to let go again.

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of the song 'Back To December' by Taylor Swift.
> 
> (Felt like first names were appropriate for some reason in this..)


End file.
